We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
