It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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