I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
