lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
