watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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