I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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