If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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