After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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