Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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