you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
