the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
