Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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