Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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