you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
