i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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