i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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