This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize