there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
this hospital has no fireball
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
