There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
