If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
