I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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