We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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