he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
