I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
