Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
