I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
