Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This house was built for laser tag.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
