And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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