so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
