after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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