I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
