you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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