Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize