Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
