yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
