Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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