dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
