before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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