please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
