Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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