you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
