She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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