Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
