my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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