she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
