he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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