You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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