just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
