TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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