Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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