STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
