Already got asked if we're dating
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
