I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
