i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
