2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize