Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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